Oh hey guys! So my gorgeous friend Rosie Red of Rosie Red Corsetry & Couture has written me yet another outstanding post. Take it away gorgeous…
When I sit on the toilet (bear with me) I have a mirrored cabinet directly opposite me. I haven’t but put it on the wall. As a lot as I’m good with a needle and thread, I would feel significantly more comfy glue gunning it, and I just don’t feel it would be robust adequate.
Anyway, back to the point… when I am about to get in the bath and I sit on the toilet this mirror is positioned in the exact way that I can see my naked physique, hunched more than. I have a tummy that sits on my lap, and I have boobs that in spite of getting large and searching gloriously spherical in a bra, realistically sit in uneven melted ice creams down my chest.
When I am naked and looking in this mirror I do see my narrow waist and big hips, but I mainly see all the fat regions that are by all intents and purposes seen by the mass media as ‘bad fat’.
Lets be real, curvy is acceptably appealing. I can pose in a bikini and look the ‘good’ kind of fat. The shaggable type of fat. It’s only very recently that I have come to realise that a person can locate my physique lovely. They do not just find it acceptable, but really beautiful at any and every single angle.
I don’t know anybody that hasn’t had problems with their physique. Mine had been far a lot more prominent as a child and teenager. I consider as I have grown up I have taken a more f*** you approach to it. My body has had so much rubbish thrown at it, and but it has accomplished incredible things. That stated, I’ve usually thought in attracting (and maintaining) a mate I would have to alter my physique. Or, if I decided not to, that a person would have to tolerate it. My body would never ever be adored, or loved, but tolerated. How grim is that?
But it is happened. Someone thinks I’m lovely. Not just gorgeous in a tight jumper and high waisted skirt hiding all my ‘flaws’ type of way, but the hunched-on-the-toilet-belly-roll sort of beautiful. It got to a stage in our partnership exactly where I realised I couldn’t hide my physique or just pose flatteringly anymore. This person was going to see me naked. Opening the curtains in broad daylight sort of naked. And guess what? He didn’t run.
When we fall asleep in bed he typically holds my tummy. He doesn’t have a weird fetish (or if he does I am however to discover it), but the information are that it is soft, and perhaps in some approaches comforting. If I’m being honest I feel the 1st time he went to hold me there it was a sort of trust test: would I flinch, ask him to cease or move his hand away. I didn’t. He desires me he deserves the correct to be permitted to adore each portion of me. I don’t ever want our bodies to be off limits from every single other because of insecurity.
I am sometimes painfully aware that his ex girlfriends have been far thinner than me. But, they are ex girlfriends for a cause, and are in his past and not his present. It’s odd is not it, how we typically feel threatened by someone’s previous. How odd that we pin all of our concerns over someone’s appearance. It is as though we have been programmed to think this way.
It was in the course of a bath time conversation I dared to ask that dreaded query ‘would you choose me to be thinner?’ He told me that he loved me. Weight doesn’t play any element in that. The tube in my stomach (you can read all about my kind 1 diabetes right here), the bionic implant in my arm, and my ‘chunky bits’. They make me me. Wonderful I thought. But constantly wanting to pry a bit deeper I then asked, but what if I was to lose weight, or to acquire weight? Would you nonetheless discover me eye-catching then? Now as some background info, my chap is a really black and white type of guy, he’s to the point. “Yeahhh”, he said, “Do what you want with your physique. It’s your physique. I love it when we have sex, I adore it when we have days out, I adore it when we go for meals and to the cinema and for drinks. I really like the experiences your physique affords, why change?”
And that was it. That was the turning point for me. Not only did I realise that this guy found me entirely appealing, but that my appearance is not the only thing he’s attracted to (duuurrrrr naturally). He’s the initial man in my life that openly calls me lovely. Not the teenage boyfriend’s compliments of yeah you’re quite but kind of weird hunting, or later down the line of, yeah you are sort of hot in your own way… He says that I am stunning. And it is not a one particular off, he tells me often.
So this is my straightforward message to you, and I apologise for obtaining it to you in a quite rambly way: your body deserves to be far more than just tolerated. Your physique deserves to be loved, adored and worshiped. No buts, or maybes, or after you’ve lost 20lbs, but right now. This immediate.
I consider I grew up with the idea that to have a person love you (and your physique) you had to adore your self and your physique initial. Properly that is bollocks. I came into this relationship far from content with my naked body. Occasionally it takes a person else to assist glue our pieces with each other, and to teach us that those tummy rolls and those melted ice-cream boobies are loveable, not tolerable.